Parenting is an every day battle. There's a struggle deep inside my soul, a mom's soul, that constantly questions what I am doing, and how I am doing. I want my actions as a parent to be pleasing to God. I want my kids to be enjoyable, respectful and loving. Our kids will test us, but the deeper issue is the desire for boundaries. They want to know their boundaries. They need boundaries. It's in their nature to see how much they can get away with, but as parents we must set limitations and rules.
Grant and I have been experiencing a little bit of what most would call the "Terrible Two" stage. We call it the "testy two" stage. Parker's experimenting with actions and words, and learning a lot about consequences; more than he ever has. I never knew how difficult it'd be to discipline. It breaks our heart, but I know that tough love is the best thing for our family.
It's interesting how much we learn from parenting, and how much WE are like kids. If we don't get our way, we throw tantrums in our own "adult" way. The cold shoulder. Verbally. Mentally. Some even physically. Well, when our children don't get their way, they throw tantrums, cry and fuss about it too. They might be more obvious, out of control and loud, but as parents, we have to teach them what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Then again, most of our "tantrums" probably aren't acceptable either. Believe me... There are days I'd like to lay on the ground and kick my feet.
I'm learning quite a bit lately. We seem to be in full force with disciplining. I know I'm not the only parent on this ship, but I feel like we have to correct behavior nonstop, for the same thing, over and over again. Anyone there with me? I've noticed a strong need for consistency with Parker. It's this fight for control. We both want it, but in the end who has it? I find myself warning often; probably way more than I should be. Lately, Parker has learned the consequences associated with talking back and not listening. It's been hard judging when to discipline and how to discipline. Some things work with Parker, while others do not.
I've been reading a book and asking for advice from a wonderful woman about discipline. It's a great thing to seek advice from women who have been in your shoes. There's a few things I'm really trying to stay on top of: Consistency, expectation and the control of anger (that rises fairly quickly at times). It's so important not to allow a child to know you're upset. Once they realize that, they somehow gain control. They know that their actions have caused a reaction and feed off of it. It's amazing how smart little kids are.
There's this piercing scream P does. It gets me every time! I really can't stand it. He knows it. Grant knows it. The baby does not approve, and it's just unacceptable. It's not the cute squeal that kids let out while playing. It's deliberate. It's loud. It's annoying. I've now designated his room as the place to scream. I have sent him there several times to "let it out", but for some reason he finds it entertaining to do it where we are. We have made little progress, but we will get there. Consistency, right? Ha!
It's these silly struggles that need discipline. They aren't huge, but its life and it's what we, as parents, are struggling with at this time. It's preparation for the bigger challenges later. I'm just exhausted. Disciplining is crucial. It's important. I could give up, give in and let him have his way, but I know I'll pay for it later.
Parker and Reid are amazing little boys. They teach us so many life lessons. They make us better people. Better parents. It's kind of neat how God designed relationships, and what we learn from each other as a family, regardless of age. I just pray at the end of each day, after daily struggles and family challenges, we become stronger as a family that loves like Jesus.
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